From my experience as a licensed professional counselor, one of the things that I have been able to identify as problematic for most of my clients is low self-esteem. More times than not, low self-esteem seems to be prevalent in people’s everyday lives and keeping them stuck. Low self-esteem can create negative patterns that block many areas in our lives. It is important to understand that improving on your self-esteem is possible.

Why is self-esteem important? One main reason is because self-esteem is the core of our belief system of who we think we are. If we believe that we are not worthy of being happy or we are not good enough than this negative belief system starts to create part of our identity. When we create this negative belief system it makes it difficult to progress forward in our lives.  Does this belief system sound familiar?  Check out my post on The Law of Attraction and How It Can Change Your Life!

Awareness and willingness are key components in any type of change. If you are aware that you beat yourself up constantly and are willing to work on changing this thought process than you are one step closer. I have worked with many people that understand that they are difficult on themselves, but struggle with fully committing on changing their negative patterns of thinking.

A lot of times people forget that their negative self-image of themselves has been ingrained in their thinking for a long time.
One thing that continuously happens is, “I stop myself but the negative thoughts keep coming back.”  A lot of times people forget that their negative self-image of themselves has been ingrained in their thinking for a long time.  Changing ones thinking will take time and patience.  Retraining your brain to think differently from the way it has been thinking is not an easy task.  Most of the time it takes consistent long term practice that will change a person’s complete outlook of themselves.  It will feel discouraging at times, but with full commitment the goal is achievable.

Here are some things to consider when decreasing your negative self-image:

Recognize the frequency of how often you put yourself down

Acknowledge that you understand that these negative patterns of self are unhealthy.

Think about why you feel this way about yourself. (Any past or present situations, experiences, people, places, and/or things that may have shaped you to think this way?!?)

Write down the negative thoughts that arise throughout the day and/or week.

Rewrite the negative thoughts into positive statements on note cards.  For example, “I will never be good enough.”—–> “I will try my best and understand that it is okay to make mistakes.”

Create a routine and read the positive statements to yourself daily.

Do not feel discouraged if you feel that things are not changing.  It takes time.

Remember that you have control over your thinking and no one else does.

I truly believe that a strong belief in self can be an important, if not necessary, asset for feeling in control of one’s life.  It is important to be yourself and not have to pretend or act a certain way to please others. Remember to fully embrace who you are and do not be afraid to do so.

Check out this great video by Alan Watts on How to Make Yourself a Better Person.  Enjoy!

“Nobody can say anything about you. Whatsoever people say is about themselves. But you become very shaky, because you are still clinging to a false center. That false center depends on others, so you are always looking to what people are saying about you. And you are always following other people, you are always trying to satisfy them. You are always trying to be respectable, you are always trying to decorate your ego. This is suicidal. Rather than being disturbed by what others say, you should start looking inside yourself… Whenever you are self-conscious you are simply showing that you are not conscious of the self at all.  You don’t know who you are.  If you had known, then there would have been no problem- then you are not seeking opinions. Then you are not worried what others say about you- it is irrelevant! Your very self-consciousness indicates that you have not come home yet.”

-Osho