Maya Kollman is one of the only five trained in Master Trainers for Imago Relationship Therapy and has her private practice in New Jersey. She is an expert in her craft and helps couples be more self-aware of themselves, the impact they have on each other, and how to find “deeper connection and transformation”.
A brief explanation of the concept of Imago Relationship Therapy is re-summarized below.
- Intentional Dialogue explains “speaking with purpose”. That you are able to be aware of your impact and how you are behaving to make a connection with your partner. It is important to “slow things down” to help allow couples to “actually encounter one another”. One of the most important ways to do that is by making eye contact within your conversations, being present and slowly speaking to your partner about something that may be bothering you.
In fact, it’s really difficult to say awful things to a person when you’re looking into their eyes. – Maya Kollman
- Mirroring what your partner is sharing and being able to summarize what they are saying is crucial. This will allow you to be fully present within the conversation and allow you to step away from your own analysis of what you think they mean. Instead, you will fully listen without judgement and allow your partner to be heard.
- Validation and empathy are key components in true presence. In those moments, you are able to acknowledge where the other person is coming from and recognize that your partner may have a different way of looking at things. “It doesn’t mean agreement”. You do not have to agree. The whole purpose of intentional dialogue is understanding where you partner is coming from.
Maya Kollman really provides a great explanation in the video above about how Imago Relationship Therapy can be influential in changing your communication with your partner. Hopefully, this video can bring some clarification in finding a different approach in communicating with the ones you love.
We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know. – Carl Rogers